I am trying to hold on here. My stomach is turning with that fear that I so desperately try to let go of. As life coaching students, we learn to NOT hold fear, but rather to completely believe that if we are following the path with heart and soul, we will receive the support of the Universe. This is a fruity concept to most of the people you meet. It is judged as greedy, lazy, or self righteous by many. The common thought is against this very spiritual law.
I don't know about you, as a reader, but I KNOW the contribution I am making. I work just like everyone else, just on a different level, at the moment. My massage clients have lives that don't always include an abundance of spending and my efforts with community children often go unpaid in a monetary sense. I am hard pressed to continue doing the work I love, and the work I am being called to do.
This makes me even more determined!!!!! I have been marketing my services every way I can. I have been attempting to absorb myself in my schoolwork. I have spent money on bills and helping others. I am trying. I am holding this vision as I try not panic in this struggle filled time. I am, in fact, questioning why I keep struggling. I know what needs to be done. I feel strong on my path and am gaining the resources I need. Sometimes, things are just timed poorly...or exactly right.
My phone is out of minutes. This was my good morning. This happens regularly because I forget when the heck my cycle day comes. (HA literally...because my "other cycle day" and all of it's pain and glory came yesterday LOL) No phone. Not the end of the world. As I am babysitting the neighbor girls, I am absolutely glowing about the thought of starting a not for profit program for kids (especially little girls) that focuses on self empowerment and self esteem issues. I LOVE this idea and I have seen results of this work on the neighborhood children. I was sharing some useful yoga positions for one of the girls and having great one on one.When lunchtime arrived, I was quite surprised to find my gas service had been shut off. WOW! My glow was reduced to a faint glimmer in seconds. My energy dived under cover and I shut down all operations!! LOL
Building the glow back up now includes creative cooking ideas....reaching for that crock pot. My 18 year old son celebrates this!!! I will also be focused on long term plans. Why? I can't and don't deserve to struggle like this any longer. None of us do. I will take the opportunity to check into alternative means of funding this dream, and will explore those options. I just received grant writing information. I have many educational materials to write. I have several articles, assignments, and hypnotherapy scripts to write that may be a good use of the energy that it would normally take me to panic. I have no phone and nobody to call for a quick solution.....so on with the long term solutions and crock pot meals it is!!!
Kandee, P.L.M.
Professional Lemonade Maker =)
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