I have been in several relationships that the need for approval reigned number one in the dynamic. This can really be damaging!!!!! It has taken years to balance, and I still catch myself involved in some of the game playing behaviors. The tables can turn,and before you know it.....you lean on that control when approval is not found. IN FACT...I even catch myself gaining control THROUGH approval.....I wonder what THAT really means LOL. When I catch myself in certain positions, I stop....and try to reevaluate the situation....check my motives and true feelings. I then adjust behavior as necessary. The key is to recognize and consciously change the behavior. Let me tell ya....some of the ugliest people I have known have lived inside of me!!! What did I want more of?? At times both control and approval. It is hard to see when what you really need is SELF CONTROL and SELF APPROVAL.
What DO I currently want more of?? Actually, the same thing I have really ALWAYS wanted...even if I thought it was something else I needed....BALANCE and INNER PEACE.
With so many dramas present in our daily lives, it is hard to be authentic, kind, compassionate, and acutely aware of one's own motivations ALL the time. Sometimes, there are things we don't want to recognize in ourselves. Sometimes we judge others so that we don't have to acknowledge that very thing in ourselves. When the world serves as a reflection of self (all judgements are self judgements) it can be a crushing experience. Finding balance and inner peace can be quite the task for some. Just remember that anyone we speak to...we are hopefully serving as a positive reflection to a piece of them!! (Hold everyone and the world in positive focus)
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